Love Kills
by busymommy
Summary: When it comes time for Jasper to change his wife, will his love for her keep him in control, or will his bloodlust win? Does love kill? 2nd place Judge's choice in the 80's Power Ballads Contest


**The 80's Power Ballad Contest: Twilight Edition**

**Name of song and artist chosen: **Love Kills by Vinnie Vincent Invasion

**Video Link: **www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=5cNvxgd3-YE&feature=related

**Pen-name: **busymommy

**twitter name: **MnkyLuvinLady

**Title: **Love Kills

**Word Count: **2383words

**Rating: **M

**Pairing: **Jasper/Bella

**Summary: **When it comes time for Jasper to change his wife, will his love for her keep him in control, or will his bloodlust win? Does love kill?

**Disclaimer: **All Twilight characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer, the song belongs to the band, but the story line is mine

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><p><em><strong>Love kills the fire's gone<br>Dying embers still remain  
>Love kills and now you're gone<br>Girl, I'll never be the same again**_

_Flickering embers exploded in a shower of sparks, filling the black sky with their eerie light. Red and gold flames licked at the pyre they'd been built on, devouring my heart, burning my soul, leaving only smoldering ashes of loss in their wake. Closer I stepped to their consuming fury, not willing to continue without her. With an anguished cry, her name on my lips, I toppled into the flames, praying for resurrection for my blackened soul, for our souls to be reunited beyond the confines of our immortal flesh. _

I sprung to my feet, moving faster than the human eye could see, my eyes searching the deep, lingering shadows of the forest that surrounded me, my body still feeling the heat from the fire my vivid imagination had created. While I might not be able to sleep, to dream, it didn't prevent my mind from torturing me with the consequences of the decision that had been made. Despite the improbability, I was certain my undead heart raced in my chest. I had to see her, to know she'd considered every possibility. I wanted my Bella for eternity, but, if it were possible, my heart would shatter over the torture she'd endure to stay with me.

Rushing home, I leapt to the balcony outside our room, not wanting to waste the time needed to enter through the front door and ascend the stairs. There my heart laid, lost in peaceful sleep, exhausted from our earlier lovemaking. Her arm stretched above her, crooked around her head, the blanket twisted around her hips, having slipped away from her body after I left to feed. I knew I needed to be satiated before I even dared attempt what she, _no we_, had decided on. Contentment rolled off of my wife in waves, settling over me, filling me with an uncertain peace.

_**Now I hear the wind is calling my lonely,  
>Lonely soul<br>For sorrow's trembling hands please let me go**_

I stepped through the open French doors, closing them behind me, before dropping into one of the leather armchairs near the fireplace. I cradled my head in my hands, going over everything I'd discussed with Carlisle. Bella had insisted she wanted to do this alone, that she didn't want any of the family around. Against my better judgment, I agreed to keep her happy. She didn't know, though, that I'd called Peter, and he and Charlotte were staying in a hotel nearby. Peter said when the time came for Bella's change; he'd be close in case I needed him, but that he doubted I'd need the help. His confidence unnerved me more than Bella's did, probably because he knew more details of my past. I'd told Bella about my time in the South, but I'd chosen to leave out some of the more gruesome aspects. It bothered me enough that she knew of the monster I'd been, I didn't want to revisit it any more than I had to.

Feeling an emotional change in the room, I looked up from my reverie toward my sleeping wife. She'd rolled to her side, her hand sliding across the bed, seeking me out in her sleep. Not wanting her to wake up yet, I slipped out of my clothes and stretched out next to her. Her warm breath teased across my chest when she snuggled into me, her fingers ghosting across to rest on my silent heart. Feeling her settle into a deep sleep again, I brushed the mahogany hair from her face with tentative fingers. High cheekbones were shadowed by dark lashes, her full lips parted while she slept, for the last time. Given how beautiful she was now, I couldn't imagine how she'd look after her transformation. She'd be ethereal, I knew it.

The night darkened, the stars barely visible, the blinking red lights on the clock telling me that time slipped away with every breath she took. Desperate to have her one more time before I risked losing her forever, my fingers trailed down her spine, teasing the sensitive spot near her hips. Her back arched, her pelvis pressing into my hip while a soft moan fell from her ruby lips. I claimed her mouth with mine, wanting to feel their delicate softness against mine. I felt her eyelashes flutter against my cheek, soft as a butterfly's caress, her body pliant under my hands. Taking my time, I rolled her onto her back, settling next to her, my hands traversing the planes of her skin that I already knew as if it were my own. Cupping her breast, my thumb stroked across her nipple, bringing it pebbling to life under my chilly ministrations. I felt the heat of her touch, her hands exploring my body, seeking to remember the details she feared she'd lose. I'd stop flinching months ago at the feel of her touch across the many scars I bore. She considered them badges of honor, not the abomination so many others had.

Releasing her mouth, I trailed cool, moist kisses down her throat, goose bumps rising on her skin from the sensations. Leaning over her, I captured her breast in my mouth, tugging her nipple with my lips. A breath exclamation escaped her lips, her fingers tangling in my hair. Careful not to hurt her, I lifted my body over hers, resting my weight on my knees and hands, while my mouth continued to worship her. Releasing my hair, she grasped my hips, pushing herself up against my thick, hard shaft.

"Soon. Let me love you, just in case…" my voice broke, my eyes closing against tears that would never fall.

Leaning up, she placed her lips against my throat murmuring, "Sshh, love. It'll be fine, you'll see. I trust you with everything."

Humbled by her devotion, I returned my attention to her pleasure. Small gasps and moans filled the air, our hands guiding each other's passions higher. With teasing strokes between the damp curls at her apex, my fingers slipped inside of her, the muscles contracting around the welcome invasion. Her hips thrust against me, my thumb applying gentle pressure against the little bud of her clit. My name fell from her lips in mewling pleas, her hands gripping my unyielding skin, her head thrashing across the pillows, begging me for her release. Instead, I slipped my fingers from inside of her, ignoring her whimper of loss. Leaning back, I drew her legs across my thighs, my hand sliding under her back to lift her body to me. She smiled down at me from where I held her, her deep brown eyes even darker with desire. Unwilling to face the fact that I'd never see their color again, I closed my eyes, our lips meeting, Bella's sweat-dampened skin gliding across me. I positioned her over my waiting erection, easing her slowly down my length until I was seated deep inside of her. She rocked her body, her hips gyrating around me. I wrapped an arm around her hips, my other hand cradling her head, content to let her take her pleasure, knowing in the end I'd find mine, too.

She moved faster, her body bucking and writhing, while I fought the urge to thrust into her, knowing that if my control slipped, I would hurt her. When she withered around me, her breasts heaving from her own orgasm, I eased her back to the bed, never losing our connection. With slow, measured strokes I moved inside her, the effort to restrain myself only increasing the need building inside of me. I tasted the salt on her neck, the smell of her arousal filling me, warring with the scent of her blood that thrummed in her racing pulse. I swallowed back the venom pooling in my mouth, my lips covering my razor sharp teeth.

"Love?" her questioning voice broke through the haze of my passion, and I brought my focus back to bear on her. "Do it now, while you make love to me. Claim me forever, now."

I bit back the argument that built on my lips, her conviction clear in her even gaze. With a stiff nod, I determined to bring her complete satisfaction, even as I took her life away. With less care I thrust against her willing body, her hips lifting to meet me. The changing tempo brought me to the edge, but Bella calling my name, her muscles clenching around me with her second orgasm, drove me over the edge. In long, soul wrenching spurts I came deep inside of her, losing the battle to go against her wishes.

"I love you, I'm so sorry I have to hurt you."

My muttered apology fell from my lips, seconds before my teeth found the tender flesh of her neck. Her blood filled my mouth, the long forgotten tang a shock to my changed palate. Pulling away, I licked the wounds closed, then lifted her arm, repeating the same procedure, all the while my dead heart shattered. Easing myself from her body, I pulled her against me, her cries ripping into the soul I wasn't even sure I had. With every ounce of concentration I could muster, I pushed waves of calm at her, begging any deity who would listen to give me the power to dull the burning torture of her transformation.

_**Tell me why have we forsaken the dreams we had  
>The pain makes it so hard to understand<strong>_

After Bella slipped into unconsciousness, I crawled out of our bed. I settled the cool sheet around her, not wanting to shroud her in the confines of clothing, then I dressed myself. The next two and a half days would be torturous while I waited, but I wouldn't leave her side, not for a moment. I'd heard my friends outside the house earlier, but with a whispered warning, I sent them away. I would sit my vigil alone. I heard the sluggish beat of her heart, each one further from the last, fear coursing through me with each anguished pause, until it settled into a steady, but faint rhythm. I knelt beside the bed, my head resting against her still hand, wanting nothing more than to feel it drag through the snarled curls I hated and she adored. When her breathing hitched, the waves of pain increasing, I would send another wave of lethargy to dull it.

I heard my phone ring, but I ignored it, not wanting my focus drawn away from the most important thing in my interminable life. The sky lightened, the woodland animals and birds going about their business, and still I sat. I marked time by the blinking red numbers on the clock, each one ticking off the loss of her fragile presence in my life. The sun rose high in the sky, before slowly descending to slip into an impenetrable night. I felt certain that even the stars, by their very absence, mourned her presence.

By the end of the first twenty-four hours, my gift offered her no respite from the consuming fires of the change. Her body arched off the bed, her anguished wails filling our room with pain. She whimpered in between each scream, the simple noise raking across my spirit. In my selfishness, I'd done this to her. When I heard a soft footfall in the hall, I snarled at the closed door, warning whoever it was to go. Peter's muffled words of reassurance did nothing of the sort, especially when coupled with the pained contortions of her face. By the time the sun had rose high in the sky again, Bella had slumped back into unconsciousness. She breathed in raspy huffs through a throat made ragged from the harsh screams ripped from her body. And still I knelt, still I waited.

While the day's light fled the tomb-like stillness of the room, I stroked restless fingers along her arm, her skin fiery underneath them. Sweat beaded on her forehead, causing damp tendrils to cling to her skin. With cold, soothing hands, I caressed her, hoping to bring some sort of relief, even if it were only in my mind. Her breathing stilled, but her heart began to race again, seeming to challenge the sun that struggled to beat the night's shadows back to their corners. From outside our room, I heard the others assembling downstairs, their excitement draining the focus I needed to keep Bella's pain at bay.

Frustrated I blocked their emotions, wanting to chase them from my home, but now that the end drew near, I couldn't move from my spot next to the bed. I curled my hand around her wrist, my fingers resting against the errant pulse that struggled underneath. Unnoticed, the shadows lengthened around us, darkness descending yet again. In the emerging moonlight, her now porcelain skin glowed, lit from within with unparalleled luminescence, untouched by the blush that had once stained her cheeks. The muted colors of her hair took on a new sheen, the dusky gold and auburn strands becoming more vibrant. Her heart raced once again, almost double its earlier pace, at a speed I was certain would cause it to rupture. Then, after what seemed an eternity, it slowed, minutes stretching out between each beat until it stopped, and with a gasp, she breathed her last. A repressive quiet settled over our room, my head falling to the bed next to her, certain I'd failed.

_**Love takes its victim and leaves its remains  
>My broken heart has died in vain<strong>_

Too distraught to move, I began planning my own death. I knew Peter would never do it for me. I'd build a fire and step into it of my own accord, carrying her empty body with me. My mind raced with the idea, so focused on ending my torment, I almost missed the feel of cool fingers tangling in my hair. With a movement to fast to see, I lifted my eyes to find Bella's open, hesitation and fear filling them at the sudden movement. Then her lips parted, one word falling from them, her voice filled with wonder and awe, assuaging the guilt that had consumed me.

"Jasper."

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><p><em><strong>Much love and thanks to my writing companions, nails233 and butterflybetty, and to rathbonejunkie for her quick beta reading. <strong>_


End file.
